it’s not me it’s you
when someone hurts us, it’s easy to assume we did something wrong. i did too much. i didn’t do enough. it protects us from feeling our own hurt and disappointment. we may try harder to repair things in the relationship, even when we were the ones who were wronged. or we keep trying to do everything right so we are never hurt again. when we’re hurt, it’s a good time to pause. slow down the response or reaction. take a deep breath. blaming ourselves makes it hard to think about what really happened. to see it from our own perspective. and to find spaces that give us room to do this. once we can actually feel hurt, we can tell someone we’re hurt.